Been a long 2 weeks dat just passed. Being in the slackest posting, i still feel tired. And very lazy. Dun know how ppl can tahan a 7-day work week. And my turn is fast approaching.

The weekend is passing faster den i hope it to be. It's a rather boring weekend. Everyone's on call, there is no more soccer, and i'm starting to get bored playing DOTA alone. I think i'm very lazy. I can actually think of some things i want to get done. But i'm too lazy to move my butt beyond the confines of the house.

Been losing weight recently. It's odd considering ppl always say dat you'll gain weight in obgyn, cuz it's so slack, u spend ur time eating. Maybe i should relli start some exercising regime going.

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Expectations is an interesting thing. There are those instinctive expectations, like as if it's been engraved into my genome. Like how i would expect myself to excel in most things i do. Then there are those role-related expectations, like how i would expect the meepok man to cook a mean bowl of meepok. But slowly with time as i age, these expectations start fading. It gradually mellows.

With expectations, come disappointment

Disappointment comes along when ur expectations are not met. Like how i fail to do better to get the postings i want, or how i fuked up my A levels to land up doing this. Or if the meepok man cooks up a bowl of kwaytiao-teng, when u ask for meepok with lots of chilli. It just feels different. It damn feels shitty to not be in control.

After disappointment, comes acceptence

There will come a time, when u know u cannot fight the beast. You admit defeat, dat no matter wat u do, you cannot change wat is already there. You realise dat you are a loser, but perhaps a easier way out, is to convince urself dat it's alright. You tell urself, maybe things happen for a reason, maybe there's no point pursuing the issue any longer. You give up, and give in.

Life goes on. With a smile, and a tear.



That's the guide (surya) and our handsome porter (deepak). Resting at Tal, and right behind them in the background is a couple of waterfalls.



One of the cascades we came across. I kinda like these waterfalls a lot more den those single big tall ones.



Benny and Chin crossing over to the other side of the river gorge.



Our first glimpse of the snowy mountains.



Annapurna IV in the horizon

Day 4 of a long 2 weeks, with a weekend call right in the middle. Many ppl tell me that O&G is a very slack posting, get to go home at 4.30, calls you do nothing, etc etc. But i rather think not so. It's probably true dat u can relli slack and probably just fulfil ur duties as a HO, which is not dat little btw (i only finish the changes at 6pm today), since a lot of the responsibility rest on the hands of the MO instead. In fact, there is very little we can do. I was hoping someone would teach me how to VE someone, but apparantly we are not allowed to do dat.

I think, it's a question of how involved you want to be. You can relli be part of the team, or u can just be a scribe-bloodsucker-formfiller-drugprescriber. Quite enjoy working with ppl i dun usually tok to. So far been working with 2 rather hardworking ppl, ppl who dun push off their work, but actively attempt to finish more in less time. James is as inquisitive as me, though we have lotsa questions with no one to answer them.

Stayed back today to deal with some AOR (ie zaoing against medical advice) cases for benny, who's on call. Realise it's relli not easy to convince someone to stay, without sounding threatening or rude. Think i have a lot more to learn. In fact, everyday i learn something new, some from the mistakes i make, some from looking just plain ignorant and dumb. Maybe dats wat u mean by experience. It's even enlightening to have some senior tell u in ur face "you again? how come i can't get rid of you?". I think he means it. Though i haven't figured out why the hate.

I think part of the fear of the job comes from actually not being quite sure what ur job entails. Like arranging a crash C-section for the first time, or getting consent for the first time, or even writing amoxycillin 500mg tds for the first time. But i realise once u know wat to do, the job isn't quite as scary anymore.

Still adapting, and O&G is good, since it also teaches me surgical skills. Think in no other surgical posting do u get so much OT exposure. Even doing an episiotomy repair is interesting somehow. The nurses in the OT have called me at night many times to go to OT to assist... haha. Technically 2nd surgeon liao.

Back to the photos. Realise dat i can't quite remember the name of every stop we stayed at, or places we pass. So here are just some photos.



More amazing terraces.



If you look carefully, u'll see a rainbow.



The top of a hill we climbed.



The river bed. Apparantly during the monsoon, the river will flood and the gravel and sand u see will be submerged.



The view from one of the rest places where we had our lunch.

Been a rather busy week so far, not to mention my very first call. It's not too bad, since i'm on call in the labour ward in which i was posted to. The only thing is that i'm covering the duties of 4 ppl , since my partner is often in the OT at night. Early part was busy, but got a bit better. Had time to go help out a bit in the periphery wards, before i manage to catch abt 1+ hours of sleep.

Had to run out of the shower when there was a code green... ha... pamela was laughing her way back to her room when she saw me half drenched.

Been a great learning experience, and i still firmly believe dat nothing beats learning on the job. The learning curve is much steeper, and u learn the practical side of things.

Back to more photos!



This is a shot from the same window i took the previous shot from in the previous entry. Had to cross dat bridge in the middle of the night, so didn't quite knew wat it looked like, until morning came and i looked out. Think i had to cross like more den 30 of such bridges along the way.



The street dat passes through the town. It's quite a nice town, being stone paved.



Donkeys. Lots and lots of donkeys. They are the cargo trucks of the mountains. Everything is brought up either by donkey-power, or man-power. and these donkeys are highly skilled at tackling mountain paths. Haven't seen one stumble or fall off a cliff, despite carrying heavy loads. They do shit a lot though, and if you're following right behind them, they'll fart in ur face.



The nepalese have learnt how to make use of every single acre of flat land to farm. And if they are not flat, they make them flat.



Chin doing his PE-shorts and Army-boots combo

End of the week for the first day of work. Been quite an experience so far, but also learning many lessons from it as it gets by. Some theory, some practical, even how to do a caeserian.

1. Delivery
Never stand at the base of the bed when the baby comes out, cuz together with the baby, and shortly after, is a huge spurt of some icky-brownish stuff, which will land on ur pants and trousers and make u miserable the whole day

2. Plugs
I damn suck at putting in a green plug into a woman's hand. Somehow the canula refuses to slide in. So far failure rate has soared, with today having failed 2/2 (100%) and yesterday 1/2 (50%). Now i have extremely low confidence when i stare at a vein, compared to last time. But if anything, must act confident.

3. Getting lazy
Think with time, after doing many of the mundane stuff and filling in forms, i start to get lazy and not look thru ALL the past hx, which is damn bad practice. I'm determined to correct dat, cuz on looking back at my own papers i filled in, i realised i made quite a few mistakes, all becuz i became lazy.

4. Muscle memory
After a while, filling in the IMR, doing episiotomy repairs, tying knots, giving IV drugs become muscle memory. It just comes with the lift of the needle or the pen.

5. Hand Tie
The hand tie is damn fast. No fumbling with the instruments.

6. Sleep is precious

7. HP
Yes, they do provide me with a new HP, but it's a phone i wish it doesn't ring. Normally is nothing good. And somehow i get called more often then my partner (postulated becuz my name is before his).

8. C-section
First hand experience in the heat of the operation, yanking, pulling, cutting, burning and maybe in the near future tying. Not to mention sucking the baby's throat.

All been an eventful first 3 days at work. And feeling the pressure of responsibility. Hope i make a good doctor.